Saturday, October 24, 2009

Gotcha Day

Last year October 24 fell on a Friday. It was the day we became parents. It's Gavin's Gotcha Day, the term used to describe the day a child is placed with its adoptive family. It was a cold and drizzly day. We met up with Hannah at LDS Family Services at 1pm. We rode with her to a courthouse in Marietta, where we were to find out if we would be allowed to take custody of Gavin. We didn't know exactly where Gavin was at the time, if he would be there or if we would even get to see him any time soon. Gavin was lucky that his case was handled by a caring caseworker from the state who immediately saw that it was in Gavin's best interest to transfer custody ASAP. After a meeting with the state caseworker, Hannah, and the LDSFS lawyer Jake and I waited outside the courtroom for what seemed like a long time. Hannah hurried out and told us that the judge had allowed the change of custody and that we would be getting Gavin that day. His foster mom would be taking him to meet us at the local DFACS office. Hannah drove us over to the DFACS office where we waited a couple hours for Gavin. While we waited we read Gavin's medical info that Hannah had gotten in court. It was the first time we knew how big he was or what his whole name was. The weight was listed in kilograms so I had to call my mom to look up a conversion calculator online for us. Hannah kept going on an on about how lucky we were that things had gone so smoothly, that it never happens this way. The DFACS office was dreary, dirty, and depressing. We could hear children in the next room having supervised visits with their parents. I was so happy that we were going to be able to take Gavin out of the system. Suddenly a door opened and Gavin was kind of thrown into my arms. It happened very quickly. Gavin immediately put out his arms to go to Jake, but was ok with me holding him after Jake got a turn.
I hugged and thanked Gavin's foster mother, an older heavyset black woman. She said Gavin was a joy to have, that he was a good eater, and that he loved animals. That's still Gavin in a nutshell. The foster mom also said Gavin had been running a fever earlier. We walked outside in the drizzle and put Gavin in Hannah's car. By this time it was rush hour in Atlanta on a Friday, and Hannah had to drive from the north side of Atlanta to the southeast side back to the LDSFS office. It took awhile. Jake wanted to sit in the back with Gavin. I remember Hannah pulling over to the side of the road at one point so I could get our baby bag out of the trunk but I don't remember why. Gavin happily played with a toy we had brought for awhile but then started fussing. To keep him happy I gave him a tin of icebreaker mints to shake like a rattle. Hannah had one too so he played with both of them. By the time we got back to the office everyone had left. I changed Gavin. The foster mom must have really been worried about the cold because Gavin was wearing 3 layers of clothes, which were now soaked through. Luckily I had brought plenty of backup clothes with me, loaned to us by a friend from church. Jake learned to change a diaper there on the floor in the lobby at LDSFS. I fed Gavin some dinner and offered him a bottle, but he wasn't very hungry. We played with him while Hannah finished the paperwork. The cleaning crew came through while we were there and Hannah explained to them that we just got a baby and that was what they did in that office. Gavin was very fussy, and seemed to be teething so we gave him tylenol and ambesol provided by the foster mom. We were finally able to get the paperwork done and leave for the 2 hour drive home. Jake drove while I sat in the back with Gavin. He cried almost the entire way home. It was awful. We sang, I played with him, offered a bunch of toys, but nothing worked for long. I even had Jake stop at a WalMart to get frozen waffles for Gavin to gum, as I had read this was good for teething. It worked for a little while, but then more crying. Gavin fell asleep for a few minutes shortly before we arrived home. I called my mom and my friend Robyn on the way home so they could spread the news that we were able to get Gavin. I think we got home about 9:30 or so. As soon as I took Gavin into the livingroom and he saw Tyler everything was ok. He was home. He laughed and laughed as Tyler licked him and ran around. Gavin squeeled with delight as Jake played fetch with Tyler. Gavin crawled around on the floor exploring his surroundings as we called our parents. I remember both of us telling our parents about Gavin's amazing smile. I gave Gavin a bath, and with his hair off his face and showing a toothy grin I started appreciating how cute he was. Jake dressed him for bed. We gave him a bottle and put him down to sleep. His crib was in our room and Jake went to sleep too. We were exhausted, but I couldn't go to bed until I sent Gavin pictures to my mom. They seemed to take forever to upload and send, and my mom kept calling me asking when they were coming. I understood, and was happy to send them, but I was so tired. I don't remember if I talked to her after she got the pictures that night, I must have at least for a few minutes to make sure she got them. That was 1 year ago today.